On a foggy morning in the summer of 2000, I waited nervously, yet anxious. A peek at the clock revealed him to now be 10 minutes late. Was he simply a little late? Did I give him wrong directions? Or was I about to be on the bad end of an undercover bust? Now sweating profusely, I have second thoughts about the whole thing. “Screw This!” I said and as I put my truck in gear, I see “Vinnie” rounding the bend. Now heading straight at me, my stomach drops. His 2003 Mercedes Benz with blacked out windows, I can’t see if he’s alone! Pulling up beside, his window glides down. Through the puff of his Cuban 94 rated Cohiba, I see he’s wearing a smile, allowing me to feel some comfort.

“It’s here”, Vinnie bellows, “Just like you ordered"

“Vinnie”, whose name I keep anonymous for fear of reprisals from concerned parties, is known in the underground world as the King of Rare Sports Memorabilia. How he gets his merchandise, you just don’t ask. Having only met him once in the past, I greet him with a voice cracking “hello”.

“Get out”, he demands and proceeds to greet me with a warming hug. Not finding any hidden wires, he pops open the trunk. “You got all the money?” he questions as his smile quickly disappears.

“Yeah…forty, right

Not answering, he pulls the paper bag from out of the trunk and hands it over. A quick inspection reveals this Pitt Panther, game-worn, Tom Tumulty jersey to be a fake

Pulling it completely out of the bag, I see I’m actually holding a game worn, number 90, Tom Barndt, road jersey.

“This isn’t Tumulty’s”, I stress as my artificial smile turns to a stern stare. “Hey man, its Brandt’s…he played in the NFL”, remarked Vinnie. “First off, it’s Barndt not Brandt!”, and I thought we agreed on Tumulty”, I said. “Sorry, I forgot I sold Tumulty’s” said (screw it-his real name is) Jim 

From my stack of money, I grab a $10 bill and hand it over. “Come on, at least $20”, whines Jim. “I’ll meet you half way with 15 bucks!” I replied.

I last remember seeing Jim heading back up Route 19 …in his late 90’s Grand Am 

Pissed, I headed back thinking, I could be home watching Springer right now. Not knowing what lie ahead, I went home, threw the jersey in my closet and went on with my day.

For the 2000 season, I wore my little “T. Barndt” shirt to just about every game as Pitt finished out their last pre-Heinz Field season in Three Rivers Stadium. Through out the next summer, I decided I wanted to change “T. Barndt” to something a little different. “P.S.U. Sucks” and “I 8 State”, were juggled around as potential name sakes. But none of them really hit home until one late night after work I found my inspiration while watching Howard Stern. As the “Strippers with Lisps” episode was unfolding, I saw an “F. Jackie” license plate hanging in the background behind Stuttering John. Immediately, I threw down the Jergens, put back the Kleenex and went back to the closet to visualize…”F. PATERNO”. I shouted as I pulled up my pants – “This will be F%*@ing Great!”

Knowing the upcoming Spring game was months away, I drove down to Victory Sports on East Chestnut Street in Washington, PA and watched as big George Zofchak ripped “T. Barndt” stitch by stitch from off the back of the jersey. I have to admit, I felt bad for Tom. As if all his hard work and dedication he had for Pitt as a defensive lineman had now been forgotten. That me removing his name would in fact officially ensure that there would be no other fan wearing a Pitt jersey in his honor. You see Marino, Dorsett and Antonio Bryant shirts floating around the stadium, and when George was done…so was Tom. Like shooting the last White Rhino in Zimbabwe, Africa, Tom Barndt was now extinct! Would we forget that he played for the Chiefs, Bengals and Jets? Would we forget that in 1993, the same year he wore my now $15 jersey, that he had received All-American accolades by “Football News” as a junior. Considered by NFL.com as a “Blue Collar performer who is a tribute to hard work, persistence and versatility”, the last man to block a field-goal and return it for a touchdown (vs. WVU 1994) as a Pitt Panther would now be like when I got the high score on Galaga at a Canonsburg roller rink in 1981…Forgotten!

Days before the Spring game, I went down to Victory Sports anxious to pick up my newly altered jersey. A quick inspection revealed my “F. PATERNO” project had been botched. Miscommunication has been blamed for a lot in this world, but I absolutely DID NOT order “P. PATERNO” as they claim. Taking a deep breath, I politely asked them to change it to “F. PATERNO” as I walked out of the store, believing some Penn State scheme was in play. Gritting my teeth, I realized my Spring game debut would simply have to wait.

Enter September 1, 2001. The Pittsburgh Panthers hosting East Tennessee State. This match-up acknowledged as the first official game ever at Heinz Field, would also be “F. PATERNO’s” debut. Like Rudy finally walking out onto the field at Notre Dame Stadium, I could feel the stadium’s energy. Pitt 31 – East Tennessee State 0.

Running back to the SHAT tailgate, I had fantasies that Pitt would shut out their opponent every time I wore this jersey. From that day on, the “F. PATERNO”, hereafter known as “she”, would attend many a Pitt Football game. Although carelessly and irresponsibly planned weddings would take me away at times, she, I promised myself, would never miss a Pitt Panther football game! Carefully selecting surrogate Pitt fans from whom shoulders she would hang from, I would find a very select few who could ensure proper beer spillage, and Hamkey droppings on her as did I. From New York to Florida, and from Blacksburg to Phoenix, she would travel, determined to educate the world of the true hypocritical, self-serving style of one - Central Pennsylvania - university football coach that stayed in the game a few years too long. Now the subject of hundreds of photographs, she would add a new chapter in my classless Pitt Football Fan life.

Little did I know at the time, that this simple creation would go on to become one of the most admired collectible items in the history of Pitt Football. The fact that a fellow tailgater in the Ridge Avenue Lot, made an imposter copy of the F. PATERNO onto an old Yogi Roth jersey is the ultimate form of flattery. But remember one thing, #90 is the Original, Official…F. PATERNO jersey forever.

Yours Truly,

Young John Bruner (Fulltime SHAT Member since 2000)